Wait,Listen, and Follow..

Stupid stupid and stupid...

2011-08-16T01:02:00.000-05:00

Stupid me.....

Although I have an exam tomorrow,
I'm awake until late night and not able to sleep...

Although my brain is not working any more,
I'm still thinking about some text book stuff...

Although he never thinks of me,
I still remember him and think of him time to time...
**Good thing is...I don't think of him as many as I used to.

Although you don't miss me,
I still want to do and share things with you whenever and wherever.

Although I know there is no potential,
I still have a hope 'what if...'...

Although I should believe it will happen,
I still doubt it...

Although I know what I want to do,
I'm still stuck and not idealistic enough to break/ignore the reality....

Although I know it will not come,
I'm still waiting....

Although you won't love me at all,
I still love you and can't move on.....

What a stupid I am......

Watching through the window...

2011-07-31T18:20:00.001-05:00

A big window in the living room.
The blue sky and green waving hands.
Between the green hands, the beam of the bright sunshine.
Not too hot, not too cool. Just warm breeze.

A chaconne in my ears, rhythmical movements of fingers.
Ah ha!! one mistake. ha...

Ten minutes watching the window.
Bit of relaxation for my complicated nerves.

Where am I going.....
how am I living...
Who am I going with...
Why am I studying...
Or, why ain't I studying...

If I have only today, if I don't have tomorrow...
If I have only one hour to live...
If I know when my life will be done...

Oh well....
It's time to go back my complicated own world, the real world...
Grab the books and push all the knowledge to my small brain.
No more watching the window and no more day dreaming.
Going back to reality....
*sigh*

The song makes me smile #1

2011-03-20T16:58:00.001-05:00

Long time ago, I watched a movie, and listened this song. At that time, I didn't know the title. I just knew a part of lyrics and the strong piano background......

I don't know about the singer, even I don't think I like other songs of her. But, this one is goo.d =)

Lazy chelf #1. Eggs and Barguette

2011-02-18T09:40:00.000-06:00

Egg on the Barguette
1 boiled egg, Seasoning salt, dill, mayo and 2 pieces of barguette

1. Make simple egg salad - chop the egg, seasoning salt, dill and mayo.
2. Warm up or toast the baguette pieces. (Microwave 30 second)
3. Serve with vegetable and yogurt. =)

How to make more productive life....in everything...

2011-02-17T19:30:00.000-06:00

My recent life....

How to make more productive life...
Recently, I start making the lists such as the songs I want to play, the movies I want to watch, the books I want to read or need to read, and the activities I want to learn.

My study....
Politics...
Thoughts....
Jobs....
Talents...
Abilities....
Time.....

How can I make more productive life....?

The latte boy..

2011-02-16T00:45:00.002-06:00

Taylor the Latte boy, by Kristin Chenoweth

However....Taylor the Latte boy by me is.....

1. There's a boy who works at Starbucks

Who is very inspirational.

He is very inspirational because of many things.

----> I don't go to Starbucks and he does not work at Starbucks. But, the inspirational part, I would say, "I agree".

2. I come in at 8:11,

and he smiles and says, "How are you?"

When he smiles and says, "How are you?"

I could swear my heart grows wings!

----> I think I came in usually at 9ish. But, the smile part is not true. The wings?!?! Well...depends.

3. So today at 8:11

I decided I should meet him

In a proper formal way.

----> Nope, I don't need to.

4. So today at 8:11

when he smiled and said "How are you?"

I said "Fine, and my name’s Kristin"

And he softly answered, "Hey."

And I said "My name is Kristen, and thank you for the extra foam…"

---> not necessary.

5. And he said his name was Taylor,

---> Wrong name for me, although I do know there was the guy, whose name was Taylor at Starbuck inside Safeway. LOL

6.Which provides the inspiration for this poem:

----> usually the inspiration for the songs.

7. Taylor the latte boy,

Bring me java, bring me joy!

Oh Taylor the latte boy,

I love him, I love him, I love him…

----> I do know you don't like the coffee and neither do I. So, no Java, no joy. =)

8.So I’d like to get my nerve up

To recite my poem musical.

He would like the fact it’s musical

Because he plays guitar.

----> I am musical and I think the rest of the part is kind of similar, the only musical part?! maybe...

9. So today at 8:11,

Taylor told me he was playing

In a band down in the village in the basement of a bar.

----> nope, not true.

10. And he smoothly flipped the lever to prepare my double latte,

But for me he made it triple! And he didn’t think I knew

But I saw him flip the lever, and for me he made it triple,

And I knew that triple latte meant that Taylor loved me too!

I said, "What time are you playing? And thank you for the extra skim…"

He said, "Keep the $3.55," because this triple latte was on him.

---> Never going to happen. why? one, I don't like coffee. NO TRIPLE!!! The triple latte never meant "love"!!! That's just a cup of coffee. Same here. It could be an interest, but no 'love'. You can't expect the 'love', unfortunately. At least, you are not the one.

11. I used to be the kind of girl who'd run when love rushed toward her. But finally a voice whispered "Love can be yours, if you step up to the counter, and order."

----> No, no. girl. Be realistic. You can't not order the love. But, as long as you are willing to give, then, you could give. It's not the guilty to love him. Unfortunately, the love cannot come back to you. Sorry...

12. So many years my heart has waited,

Who’d have thought that love could be so caffeinated?

---> What? caffeinated?? Drug??

13. Taylor, the latte boy,

I love him, I love him, I love him.

---> I don't love Taylor, but I love you, I love you and I love you. It's just sad that I will never have a chance to say to you... :( NEVER EVER...

Prayer for my dearest friends...

2011-01-17T07:39:00.000-06:00

Dear friends...

Because I love you so much, I'm praying based on Mattew 13: 13 - 15.

13. This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.
14. Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says:

" you will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive.
15. For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them."

I do want you to see what I see. I do want you to hear what I hear and I do want you to understand by your heart what I understood by my heart. Why? Because I love you. Whoever you are, whatever you do, even though I am angry at you time to time, I pray for you. Even if I am not able to contact you often, we barely see each other or we never see each other, still you are in my prayer. I will be there as always. My spirit will be with you. Even though I don't actually cry with tears, I do cry out for you as Jesus did for me. That's what I need to do and that's what I've learned from him. So, please remember this!! I'm here!! If you find me, you'll easily find me. If you want to reach me, you'll easily reach to me. What you need to do, is just to give a signal. Unless 'You' leaves me, I won't leave you all, as my God does it for me..

Yes. You might think it is very silly, or you might not care at all. But, someday..someday, I hope you'll have a chance to know how painful I would be and why I pray, I have to pray and I didn't have any other choices. You know what..sometimes, I think that it might be the purpose I live in this world. Just for praying for you all.

Now, I'm not telling you to do anything. I just wish that you was able to see and experience what I experience. I'm praying for you, your family, new born babies for some of you, your life, and redemption.

Love all with all my heart...

Now, 2011. Another New Beginning...and To you.

2011-01-01T16:21:00.000-06:00

#1.
Another New Beginning!
Every year, Jan 1st has something weird power, and that gives a great excitement about 'NEW'.
This year....What would be happening to you? But, one thing I feel, you will be more like yourself, the way you are. =)

#2.
What I can see is a mass scared heart. Deep and narrow scars are all over the your heart. Even though you think that you try to protect from further damage, you don't know how to protect and you are doing same thing over and over. The problem, now, is that you don't feel hurt and make the pain even deeper. Unfortunately, you hit the point that you don't recognize how painful you are. You are kind of immune from the feeling, but that doesn't heal you.

You don't know what the real 'JOY' is. The big whole in your mind, which even you don't realize but you try really hard to fulfill that chunk of emptiness, cannot be fulfilled unless you admit it. You are afraid of admitting and you just ignore things. Plus, you eventually hurt both yourself and others.

I am sorry that it happens to you over and over. I am sorry that I'm a coward. Do you know why I apologize too much every time? You think I'm apologizing. But, I'm not. I just feel sorry for you about your mass scars in your heart. I just feel sorry that you never realize that. And, that keeps bleeding, but you don't know. There is nothing I can do for it until you really realize it by yourself. Even though I'm telling you, you won't listen to me. You probably think that I'm crazy. You even don't know how much the facts make me sad. Hopeless. Poor you. Still I want to believe that there is a chance in your life.

Sorry that I can't guarantee how long I remember and pray. As long as God makes me remember, I will. But, I might ignore the calling because it hurts me, too.

The lesson...
Being hurt.. Never can be prepared. Even though you think you could, no. The pain is same. Only difference is that it happened many many times, you might be immune and not feel as painful as before. But that does not mean that you are not hurt. It remains another scar.

Of course it is different between knowing by head and by heart.

God. He is way greater than you think!!

I do not know when I can see you again. This time might be the last. Even though we talked about a lot of exciting plans, it doesn't seem to really happen since you don't have the 'willingness', anymore. And, for you, I'm a Thing which is good to have, but it is o.k. without it because there are a lot of substitutions. For me, you must be one of assignment and I don't know what exactly the right answer was. I wrote, but I can't really assume the mark and it will be still partially ongoing until the end. Or, another tool for a life lesson to teach me about myself and make me humble in a way.

I Do really hope that your messy scars can be healed in some points. Watching both your scars and the fact that you never realized and messy around your life without knowing is not easy, because..........

L.O.V.E.

2010-10-29T20:53:00.001-05:00

Why do people want to be loved? Why do people love things? Why do people love someone?
I am wondering if they really know what love is.
If someone asked you, "do you love me?", what would you say? If you said to them "I love you," then would you be willing to die for them? Have you ever met the person, except family, who you are willing to die? If you feel that, why? Is the person more worth than yourself? What is the point? You can like people. But can you really LOVE people?

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

Love is patient. Are you? Can you be? How much? What is the standard of 'being patient'?
Love is kind. Are you kind? Is it from your heart or are you just pretend to be kind?
Love does not envy. Oh...ho.....Envy, Jealousy....Shouldn't I be? Shouldn't you be? How could we know if "not envy" is from Love or Indifference or ignorance?
Love does not boast. Hmmm....If you want to "Have" something/someone because you love them, how could you manage that without boasting?
and on and on and on.......

This is such a hard project. In the song, it says Love is 'giving away'. If you want to grab, it will go away. But if you give away, it will come to you.......It's kind of beyond human thoughts.

I do love you. I think I do. But I am kind of doubting if it is real Love, or it is just greater 'like'. If I say I love you, I should be able to be patient, not to be jealous, not to be possessive, not to be angry..etc. I do trust, and hope. But, I can see myself still self-seeking. Then, I don't love you??? ...........I really want to know the bottom line of this...I really do want to know........I do....I do......

Something Stupid and Something Crazy...

2010-09-27T02:34:00.000-05:00

Totally lame....
I knew it, and I should've known that even clearly....
I just hate that feeling...
Do I need to make myself out and show me that "I'm desperate" which is not quite true...?
It is kind lying to myself and lying to others...
I just can't lie...I don't want to lie...Sooooooo fake.......
Today, the feeling is up and down....
It was good day and it turned one of those weird day....
No good..No good...at all....
Need to focus things...focus focus and focus...

I am totally in love.......

2010-09-18T23:37:00.000-05:00

Today, I need to confess myself so that my emotion can be calm down....
I know that I like this, but it was just something I enjoyed. Actually, it's been always with me. The thing is I've never felt it is my destiny or something. I just thought I just like it. Since I'm not really great with that and I've been walking totally different path, I thought it's just a side of my life.

One day, when I've decided to take the lesson, I had a feeling that if I missed this chance, I could never come back and I could regret whole time. So, I started it this summer, and today I realized that I'm totally in love with PIANO. I can't stop thinking of playing the piano and I just didn't want to leave the piano while I was practicing. I know I love music. But, today was totally different atmosphere. First 3 hours were just o.k. with practicing. But, once I started playing Beethoven, I felt like something came up from my deep inside. And my head was telling me that "THIS IS IT". I just felt that's insane..

Let's get straight this. Now, when I think my whole education, I've been studying political science and international studies for almost 10 years, since I started my college - 4 years B.A., 2 years another B.A., 2 years M.A. and right now another 2 years M.P.A. degree. No job, and my status is "international student". My age??!! Let's not get into this part. But, pretty old enough since I've been schooling really long....However, the thing is that I've never loved studying politics. Well, before the M.A. degree, I kind of liked it because I got the good marks in general and it was interesting. After my first M.A., I hated it and I swore myself that I wouldn't study political science again. Nevertheless, I came back to school for M.P.A. course since that's what I've been doing it with my past. It's hard. I mean, I don't hate it but I don't love it either. So far, my problem was that I just did whatever came up. I didn't really try hard to get what I wanted because I didn't know what I want, until I re-started my music study. And, I think it would not have happened if I stayed in Korea.

Now, when I think of myself playing the piano, it doesn't really matter I'm good or not. It is matter that I'm playing and that's what I want do rest of my life. It feels like that I'm dating with Mr. Piano at least 3 hours every day. Neither tired nor boring. I've never felt that the practicing is that fun. If I knew this like 10 years ago, my life would've been different. But, I'm just glad the fact that I finally found. That doesn't mean that it is easy. I know it is going to be super hard. But as long as I can play, and as long as I can see my future with this, I'd love to take the risk and go for it. I AM scared. What should I do? But, I'm so flattered........I'm praying and praying that...God...Let me follow the heart, please. Open the door for me and help me get through this....

Mr. Piano...
I am totally in love with you...

From the Letter to Juliet

2010-09-13T14:05:00.001-05:00

" If what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart."

- from The Letter to Juliet.

Hmmmmm.....How would know that's true or not? What if it was true for me, but was not true for the half?

A pair of the old jeans ---> a cute bag

2010-08-29T20:57:00.000-05:00

The transformation..

To Do 2010/2011

2010-08-24T10:58:00.000-05:00

0. Read the whole bible in a year - writing everyday prayer Journal
1. Commit both classical and Jazz studies.
2. Theory studies
3. Finish Rudiments.
4. Compose a song by the end of September
5. Figure out the text book and read before the class starts.
6. Decide the research topic as soon as school stars.
7. Write some practice writings
8. English studies - TOEFL/ GRE
9. Reading 10 books for this year - search and make the reading lists: 5 non-fictions/ 5 fictions
10. Fitness

Will check this list on Aug 31st 2011.

About me by MBTI

2010-08-13T18:11:00.001-05:00

Long long time ago, I remember that I did MBTI test. At that time, the result told me that I was ENTP, but my E and I were pretty blurred - kind of middle. And T and F were also blurred. So, I guess I am kind of in the middle of Rationals (ENTP/INTP) and Idealist (ENFP/INFP).

According to the simple test result,

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the

Rationals are the problem solving temperament, particularly if the problem has to do with the many complex systems that make up the world around us. Rationals might tackle problems in organic systems such as plants and animals, or in mechanical systems such as railroads and computers, or in social systems such as families and companies and governments. But whatever systems fire their curiosity, Rationals will analyze them to understand how they work, so they can figure out how to make them work better.

In working with problems, Rationals try to find solutions that have application in the real world, but they are even more interested in the abstract concepts involved, the fundamental principles or natural laws that underlie the particular case. And they are completely pragmatic about their ways and means of achieving their ends. Rationals don't care about being politically correct. They are interested in the most efficient solutions possible, and will listen to anyone who has something useful to teach them, while disregarding any authority or customary procedure that wastes time and resources.

Rationals have an insatiable hunger to accomplish their goals and will work tirelessly on any project they have set their mind to. They are rigorously logical and fiercely independent in their thinking -- are indeed skeptical of all ideas, even their own -- and they believe they can overcome any obstacle with their will power. Often they are seen as cold and distant, but this is really the absorbed concentration they give to whatever problem they're working on. Whether designing a skyscraper or an experiment, developing a theory or a prototype technology, building an aircraft, a corporation, or a strategic alliance, Rationals value intelligence, in themselves and others, and they pride themselves on the ingenuity they bring to their problem solving.

Rationals are very scarce, comprising as little as 7 to 10 percent of the population. But because of their drive to unlock the secrets of nature, and to develop new technologies, they have done much to shape our world.

Rationals at Work
As a Rational, you seek to acquire and apply expertise. You thrive in an autonomous and intellectually stimulating workplace, working alongside other competent people, pursuing knowledge or creating systems. Your core need to follow the driving force of your own intelligence leads to particular career challenges. For example, recognition of your expertise may lead to your being put "in charge" of other people, as a manager, when you might prefer to remain immersed in projects of your own.

You are fascinated with developing strategic plans for others to use. In your preferred environment, you work behind the scenes while someone else takes the active leadership role. Often, you are driven to step in as leader when you become impatient with the way a project is going. In your ideal job, you independently analyze systems and make recommendations about how objectives will best be reached; someone else does the work of delegating work, motivating people, or enforcing work duties. You want challenge in your work and become frustrated when asked to merely follow routines, especially if those routines are inefficient.

The funny fact is that I tried the test several time. And every time, the result was different. I got INTJ and ISTJ which were very different from the result from 5 years ago. So, I guess it could show a part of me but can't identify me. I'm glad that I am not biased only one side, even though some parts would be stronger than another. I could have more flexibilities and capacities to extend my character since I have both side.
Anyway, it was pretty interesting to see how I could be categorized by some of thoughts.

He is good, as usual and always will be...

2010-07-30T16:24:00.000-05:00

Today is my last day for the summer job.
Last week, my head and my mind have been struggling with a certain subject. I have searched a lot of information and tried to find somethings that could give me kind of comfort. Also, I've been praying for a certain thing for 5 days. While I am praying, God approached me various way. Like yesterday, He just hit my head and made me really uncomfortable. I think it was one of the biggest challenge for myself. Somehow, I just couldn't think what I was supposed to think. Probably, it is because I had a strong desire...or greediness...

However, with some process, finally He gave me peace. Now, I know what I'm going to do. But, still I need to pray continuously. It was very helpful to find myself and realize what I am looking for and what I want. And as always, I don't need to worry about the future. My Good Lord will take care of everything. The important thing is where my center is. Even though I knew it, sometimes, it is hard to practice until it actually happens for real.

What I need to do is just to be honest about my emotion and my feeling, in His boundary. And, I just need to love as much as I can. So that it connects heart to heart. Not by decoration or something else. I just need to be myself and connect Heart to Heart........with keeping Him in my center...

Rachel's craft room in July...

2010-07-20T21:11:00.004-05:00

I made bunch of buns, first of all.
Why? No reason...I thought it would be good to have some buns, but I didn't want to buy them. So, with my wonderful roommate's help, I made buns..
Oooops...some of them were too big, almost similar size of my face (with little of exaggeration.

Second, I made a dress. The beginning was very good. I chose the right fabric and pretty pattern. Cutting the fabric was not bad. The disaster started when I tried to put all pieces together with hand sewing. I did my best, I swear... But there was limitation, of course. The first obvious mistake was the arm hole parts. One is smaller than another. The second mistake was my shoulder line. One is little bit longer and forward than another. The last mistake was the front sewing part. I THINK, the pattern was little bit problem for the front part (I just blame the pattern). I don't think I would try again unless I learn how to use the sewing machine. The pattern said that this was easy and would take only 2 hours. For me, it took me 3~4 hours for three weekends - 6 days. Even it is unfinished because I didn't hem the bottom part..oh....whatever...

Last, I made another small pillow for my friend. For her 23rd birthday...
I would say, this one is my favourite, comparing with previous ones. I mean, I put a lot of effort for other pillows, too. But, I think this one is definitely the cutiest one. My friend named it "Xiao Ba".

So far, my weekends were pretty busy making those and I really enjoyed. Once the second year of study starts, I don't know I could have time to make somethings. Based on my previous experience, probably it won't be happening for a while, at least for next 8 months...

Picking Strawberries...

2010-07-20T20:49:00.000-05:00

When I was in Vancouver, I really wish I had a chance to go to a strawberry farm in Okanagan. Unfortunately, I have never had a chance...
BUT!! One day in July, I got the chance to go to the strawberry farm with my roommate and her grand parents. *^______________^*
The low I picked was just blessed low with bunch of nice and well-grown strawberries. I think I ate half of them as soon as I picked and put rest in the bucket. ha ha..

When we arrived there, there were already a lot of people, picking the strawberries. Most of them seemed to come with their family with kids....

We went "Boonstra farms". I think that's quite funny name...
Boonstra farms?!

I got three buckets. This summer, I don't think I need to buy any strawberries any more...
Oh...well...I might...because I LOVE STRAWBERRIES SO MUCH..

Making Pillows~

2010-06-30T22:34:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday, a rainy day...
Becky and I went to the fabric store and got some cute fabric to make pillow...
AND...I made two small pillow..maybe cushions?*^^*

Those have secrets.....ha ha...

Joining the 30 club...

2010-06-30T22:28:00.000-05:00

June 28th, 2010.

Now I am qualified to join the 30 club. I was expecting something special in my 30th birthday, but it was the most quiet birthday ever, no cake and no candles.

Even though there was not a big party, I really appreciated what I have now, especially my roommate Rebekah. She made my birthday very meaningful. This year, she was the only one person who sang the birthday song for me, prepared practical gifts, spent time with me and took me a dinner at Red Lobster - my first time. She, herself, was "the gift package" by our Good Lord.

And my family's phone calls and emails. My age presents how long my parents have been married. I just thank for all their effort to raise me. When I think back, I was not the best daughter. In some point, I thought I was, but I was not. I could've been better. But, well... I still have a chance.. ^^*

Facebook birthday wishes...It was kind of surprising from unexpected birthday wishes through Facebook. I am not the big fan of Facebook. Actually, I don't like that much. However, it was not that bad getting birthday wishes there. While Facebook was crowded, my cyworld was almost dying. No birthday wishes from Cyworld... I was not disappointed, but I feel I'm fading away from people in Korea. Plus, there was a person I wish the person remembered my birthday. But, of course the person didn't remember, which I kind of assumed. Oh well....not a big deal...

I am in the world. I exist and I am living this world. The birthday is a sort of reminder that I am alive and I am moving on........

Another decade...As there were many changes in my 20's, I am excited to see another changes in my 30's......

Summer kick off concert in Winnipeg and long walk!!

2010-06-26T00:08:00.000-05:00

If there is a VSO summer kick off concert at the deer lake park, Vancouver, there is a WSO concert at Assiniboine park, Winnipeg. A free outdoor concert!!!!

I am so excited about this summer with a lot of free concerts. It tells me how much Winnipers enjoy the music and how much they love music. During the summer, there are tons of free, good quality concerts every week. Every Sunday, there are two Jazz concerts - one is at 3:00 and the other on is at 7:00. It will be the great family time with music and some dancings. Family picnic time!!! Every Tuesday, there are rock, and pop music live concerts. It must be fun. From July 28 to 30th, there will be the performance of Winnipeg Royal Ballet. Plus, free Jazz workshops and some pre-concerts during the Jazz festival.

I am pretty sure that Vancouver also had those opportunities. But, I wonder why I wasn't able to find that much as I found in Winnipeg. Anyway, I'm just glad that my summer is going to be pretty busy to follow those all concerts!! I need to make a plan very carefully. ha ha.

Today, I had long walk about 3 hours from Assiniboine park to home. Recently, I walk a lot. Last couple days, I walked to work and walked home. While I am walking, I'm thinking, listening to music, and exercising. I think this is the privilege of Summer!! Poor my feet....

It's already July sometime soon. I can tell, my July and August are going to full of concerts and walking. *^^*

What if...

2010-06-12T18:30:00.002-05:00

What if I want to do something I am not supposed to do....
What if I want to love someone I am not supposed to love....
What if I want to go somewhere I am not supposed to go....

Then....

What should I do???
What if I really want things, even though my deep mind is telling me 'No'....

The answer would be...'Let go and don't try to do things..Just Let go like the river flow'.
If it is meant to be, then it will be. If it is not, then it never will be...
So....
Don't waste time to think something is not worth it and it would be such a thing that you can't really do no matter you want or not.

Open the hands and let go.....
If you want to grab..
If you want more and more, it will go away...
It's Time to learn.."Let go"...

Toronto/ June 2010

2010-06-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

Rachel's Photo Gallery/Toronto in June

Assiniboine park in Winnipeg

2010-06-12T17:57:00.001-05:00

Rachel's photo gallery

/Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg in April 2010

What I need to do right now?!

2010-04-05T22:16:00.003-05:00

I just need to focus on things..
I just need to survive this semester..
I just need to thank God..
And, I just need to do my best whatever the result would be..

Look What I did over the Christmas vacation!!!

2010-01-05T14:15:00.000-06:00

1. Hand muff- When I stayed the Grandma's, she gave me very interesting yarn. Since I lost my muff, I decided to make a muff for myself. And, Tada~ That's pretty warm. This one took me about four hours I think.

2. A Neck Warmer. I got an idea from one of my friend's neck warmer. Well, especially, when the weather is extremely cold, this one is working well instead of a scarf. I think it took me about six or seven hours to complete it.

3. A beret and scarf. The beret, I've learned from YouTube. YouTube, It was a good instructor. I didn't follow exactly they said (of course. I'm Rachel, I like changing things a bit..but you know I don't overly change things), but eventually, it turned pretty well. And the scarf. I was tempting to make patterns. Well...at least, it is not weird when I finished them. It looks like just ending decoration. LOL

So, I'm ready for Winter.*^^*

After the Christmas, the wish lists --> became real. :D

2010-01-05T14:03:00.001-06:00

2. A pair of gloves ---> I got a pair of the cutest ever mittens from my lovely roommates. Thanks you guys!! Love ya~!!

10. A pair of skates ----> My lovely Canadian grandma gave me a pair of her figure skates. :D I can go skating now..Oh, wait, I need to sharpen them, first. ha~

I didn't expect that I could get some of them among my wish lists. Well...It's great!!!

Good Bye 2009! Hello 2010!

2010-01-05T13:44:00.003-06:00

The last week of 2009. It was just a blessing week for me with joining the Winter Conference. Before I went to Vancouver, I remember that I had been praying for many things. The Winter Conference was one of them. I really wanted to know how God would tell me things and what God would show me about my paths and what I was struggling with. God is GOOD. This conference was full of prayer answers and answers about some of my wish lists.

Actually, my journey started when I arrived in Vancouver. From Dec.17th to Dec. 27th, I met my friends and church families. First of all, God showed me a "pure joy" again through my church families. I joined two services with Joy Fellowship. I am so glad that I could take the role for them. Of course it wasn't perfect, but I could feel the vibes that God really enjoyed our praise and worship. Especially, every year we prepare a skit about the story of Jesus' born. This year, every preparation was just right timing and made the skit beautiful. It just came from pure love and hearts of each person who took a part in the skit. On Christmas eve, I had a chance to go to caroling to the neighborhood with my friend's church members. It was another blessing time for me. I think when I was 10 years old, it was the last time I went out for caroling with my church people. A lot of people celebrate the Christmas and have a big party on Christmas eve, but I think most people don't know why we celebrate it. In my opinion, this caroling gives them a chance to know What we celebrate through the songs. What we sang was mostly from Hymn, original christian carols, which was my favorite part of caroling. Also, I had a great time with friends. Oh! I went to the Anglican church service on Christmas day. It was very interesting experience. :) When I spent time with my sincere friends, I totally thanked God that He gave me these people in my life. Even though my family is in Korea, God gave me a new family in Canada, because He knows me.

Realizing my weakness - Sometimes I am over pride of myself. Especially, very often, I think that I didn't do anything wrong. But, this time, God let me know that how sinful I am and He was the one who sent Jesus Christ to me to wash my sin. I know that fact all the time in my head, but I got the chance to know that with my heart. It was precious chance to let down my bad things in front of God and ask the forgiveness. This moment makes me realized how arrogant I was. I think I had some attitude that "I should be always the best, and in top". However, during this semester, and during the vacation, I realized my weakness and I need help. I can't do everything all by myself. I don't have enough power and capabilities to deal with everything my own. The best part of this realizing myself was God gave me the words every time when I was afraid to admit myself.

Finding the vision - This Winter Conference gave me an idea where I should go, and why God sent me here. Many times, I doubt that why I am studying. Most time, my answer was "because I like it, because that's only thing I could do well, and because I have been doing it for a long time". However, actually, I realized that I was not keen on study Politics. I know that I like learning, but it doesn't need to be Politics. Through the two training sessions, God explained me why I am here. The leadership and the Academia. Those two things just grabbed my attention and linked what I am doing. At the same time, He gave me a life homework, how I can merge my belief and my study and how I can apply and practice my belief to the Academia. Even He taught me how I can start though the prayer time we had in Winter Conference. At the prayer time, we meditated the story of Nehemiah, how he prayed, prepared and practice. It was interesting because before I came to Canada, at the sermon in my church, the pastor explained exactly same thing which really encouraged me to decided my new journey at the new environment. Actually, since that moment, it was one of my life 'motto' - 3 PR. Pray, Prepare and Practice. It was amazing that how God reminds me things and every thing kind comes together.

Encouraging to the new steps - One night, I think it was the first night I stayed at the hotel. As usual, the first night in the strange place gives me a hard time to sleep. So, I decided spending time with Bible. At that time I was reading Isaiah chapter 49. "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15) He didn't forget me, doesn't and won't. That's how I can be here now. When I think back my childhood, well, every kid had different childhood, though. I was a blessed kid and so am I now. But I realized that as much I blessed, I should be able to share it. When I share it will be double up. Like a stream, like a river, it need to flow like water......How? It can be various ways though, I think this concept will be connected with my vision in the Academia, hopefully.

I am praying that God allows me to have some extraordinary experience so that I can grow more in Him, in many ways, as He always does.

Jan. 2010

Yay!!! I survied in my first term because of many helps!! :D

2009-12-21T23:21:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I've got my 'second' home, Vancouver. When I think back my first term, I would say it was full of blessings. Actually, this whole year is filled with God's love. Well, maybe I will have a chance to share this later at the end of this year. And, I'm pretty sure that next year is going to be SUPER special year in my life. (Why? Only people who know me really well would understand why.)

Anyway, since I've moved to Winnipeg, it was thrilled four months. The first I've got was my lovely roommates. Each of them has different talents and they help me in different ways. I'm so glad that we get along pretty well. My favorite time is when I study with my roommates in the living room and when I sing along with them. I'm happy to be here in Vancouver for Christmas though, I think that would be also fun to stay with them. Secondly, good friends from Campus for Christ. I'm so glad that I have a group to join for the bible study and sharing. I've been praying for the new fellowship while I'm staying in Winnipeg, and He answered. Not only good friends from the group, I have some other individual friends who support me through their heart and in practical ways. Third, I have completed my first semester without any warning. That's another answer of Him..

Winter Conference, Mr. R, Family, Friends...I'm looking forward to hearing from Him, about my prayer..It is so exciting to see how God will work on those my prayers... :D

Christmas wish lists...

2009-12-13T13:42:00.001-06:00

What I wish for this Christmas.. TOP 10?!

1. 1 TB External hard drive: my Mac has only 120 GB. I should have checked. T.T That's too bad that I don't have enough storage space for pictures. Um..500 GB would be enough? well, I guess 1 TB would be better choice. :)

2. A pair of gloves: That's too bad that I've got lost my gloves and my muff for my hands, which I had used for 10 years. The winter in "Winterpeg" is pretty cold. Maybe I try to make a new muff, but gloves are too complicated to make. hahaha..

3. A pair of "fancy cute" ugg boots: I know there is no possibility to wear a skirt in winter in "Winterpeg" though, I found a cute pair of boots which would be really well matched with skirts. Long~ , warm and cute with cotton balls.

4. i Pod with earphones : My mp3 is not big enough to store all my favorite songs..that's sad. I think I need to take Air canada sometime. They offer free earphones. LOL

5. Hebrew-English/ Greek -English combined bible: Since I'm learning Hebrew, that would be really cool to read Hebrew bible. But, to understand better, I think I still need English translation side by side.

6. Jazzy Christmas carol music book and CD: About two years ago, I had a piano book of Jazz carols and I lost it. I miss playing carols with Jazz style.

7. a New cello rosin in a black case and strings: 8 years old strings. Whenever I go to lesson, the teacher asked me, "did you get a new rosin? yours is really bad. I really recommend you buy a new one in black case." Well, I'd like to. I just have no time to visit Long& MacQuade - a music retail shop. mm..When I go to Vancouver, I might have a chance to go to Tom Lee. :D

8. Some software for Mac - Microsoft office and EndNote: It is not urgent though, it would be good to have for future, since those are often used in writing papers.

9. A camera lens and cleaning kits: Tokina AT X-535 Pro DX 50-135 f 2.8 (Canon EF-S mount), a hood and a flash. Those are just so expensive to a student. T.T

10. A pair of skates: Come on!! I am in Winnipeg. I can skate on the frozen river~!!!!!! :D

Well......It's just a wish list. I don't think I can have those though. It just makes me happy even though it's just thinking. hehehe :)

Before the end of October...

2009-10-26T17:59:00.000-05:00

October..
It's been very interesting month. After the school started, it's already passed half of semester and Halloween is coming up. Whenever I go some shopping places, there are Halloween costumes all over the place. According to my roommate, once Halloween passes, everything will turn to prepare for Christmas.

I had the first midterm, and the score was pretty memorable. Fortunately, I have still some chances to make up the score. Even though I feel really burden right now, I assume that eventually, it would be good for future to have bad score in the first time. Then, I will more prepare for next one and keep myself being little bit tense to study. No matter what, that's true that I'm really blessed to study now and have interests to do something. Today, I had a good conversation with one of my professor, who is teaching the class right now. I am glad that I met him before he retires. This year is going to be his last year to teach in class. How luck I am...

I think I'm facing with a new era in my spiritual journey, too. I'm so excited about learning Genesis at church and I'm reading Isaiah for my own Quite Time. Every time I read the Bible, I can discover something new which I haven't realized before. I believe that Hebrew I've just started learning will enrich my understanding of the Bible. I hope I complete the course successfully, not giving up...Since I'm not a perfect one, I often feel exhausted and my own limitations. It wasn't that hard to accept the truth before, but somehow it became hard to recognize that I'm really weak and need some help. I think that is kind of my personality, not to bother people, not to ask helps from others. I tried to do things by myself. However, obviously, I can't do anything all by myself. I can never be "good good". I need help. I don't know why I think "Asking help is kinda shame". I need to put down everything and confess that "PLEASE HELP ME". I think in my journey, I'm kind of learning to say.." Help me". I guess that makes my life much better, especially in front of HIM.

This month, I haven't practiced my music and taken pictures. Since I know I should focus on school, I'm kinda comforting myself through saying "stand until when you are comfortable spending your own time with studying and entertaining both, not getting stressed out because of time limitation. It will be fine. Rachel, you'll be fine".

Next week..it's November. Two proposals, two presentation, the second midterm And the final exam.
Go Rachel Go!!!

The first snow in October.

2009-10-09T14:10:00.000-05:00

Today, I got the first snow in Winnipeg. It was not just small spreading. It was REAL snow.
I couldn't believe that. Well...I remember few years ago, in Korea, we had snow in March. But, October is usually very cool and beautiful weather. Here Winnipeg, even my friends said that it's unusual, kind of so early to have snow.

Anyways, now it is snowing on Friday, October 9th, 2009.
I just hope that I survive this winter.

Rachel in Winter Wonderland......

Satin Doll

2009-10-08T01:27:00.001-05:00

About two month ago, I had a old electronic piano. I think that piano is about same years old as me. :) But it has 88 full keys and it was very heavy. I bought that from Internet $200 and had played for one and half years. When I got that piano, I was very into the Jazz, well...still I like Jazz a lot. I can't say I like any kind of Jazz. Oh, I realized that the music taste can be changed. When I met Jazz, I didn't like the vocal songs. Most of songs I liked were Jazz piano songs. Recently, I started to listen to the songs with vocal. Interesting Lyrics, which are like talking to me directly, and the piano sound, which is like rolling the marble, those two are main points why I like the vocal songs. Oh!! it should have some base sound, too.

When I started to play some jazz piano songs, Satin Doll was the one of song I really enjoyed playing. Well...I still like it. I just wish I can put more improvisation, then it would be even more fun.

Satin Doll

This one is I played 5 months ago, with my old piano. :) Hopefully, I play better after some more practice....

2009 Summit!! New reflection!!

2009-10-05T00:24:00.001-05:00

The end of long thinking, I made a decision and the decision gave a great chance to see myself again. Before I came here, I have been told about the parables through my church service. That was the series we studied. Among them, there was a story about a prodigal son. In the story, there are three characters, Father, The elder son, and The prodigal son. When I listened the sermon, I already knew that I had the character like the elder son and I knew that was not right. But, at the same time, I was always wondering why God loves the younger ones in the some stories of Bible. For example, when Jacob stole "The first born's blessing" from Esau, God protected Jacob and He loved Jacob. Then, what about Esau? What was wrong about him? And, the story of the prodigal son, Father was looking for His son's back and when he came back, the Father welcomed him and held a party for him. The, what about the elder son? What was wrong about him? I dimly understood why Esau and the elder son's situation, but still because I am a sinful person, I more understood what they felt when their younger brother was loved by Father, even though Father loved them equally...

The first point is what "the first born" is. For sure, the first born has privileges, such as honor, inheritance from their father. But, at the same time, they have responsibilities and they should have the sense of headship. But many of times, they forget what they are supposed to be. They only remember what they will get as a first born. Main problem is the things ,they will get, are not exactly belong to them. As long as their fathers are alive, the inheritance is still belong to the father. But, they often forget.

Next point is that Jesus Christ, Himself is the first born of God and he has showed us how we act as a first born. He was the perfect model. Now, when I compare with the first borns in the bible stories and Jesus Christ, I see the BIG difference. Esau, he shouldn't have thought that his privilege was exchangeable with Jacob's soup. The elder son, he shouldn't have had the mind that "he has to be treated like his younger brother". I think, the elder son might not want his brother to come back. When he complained things to his father, it seemed like he worked only for what he will get from his Father. It made me doubt if the elder son really loved his father and it makes me think about the elder son's attitude and mind which is in deep inside.

So, when I applied the stories to my life, I have found all the characters of the first borns - Esau and the elder son. I was born in Christian family which is really blessing. I don't remember when exactly it was, but in certain point, I became a really selfish person like the one who only thinks what they have and what they will get, but not thinks about the responsibilities and headship. When we think about sharing Gospel, actually, I found that out that I didn't want to share the treasure with someone who I didn't like. And even, I was jealous the people who came to Jesus and followed Him. It is very shame. I was the one supposed to love them and welcome them. As a first born, I was supposed to find them, share my belongings and help them to Father. But......

Last couple years, I knew that I've got blessed a lot. Even I am not able to count how much God loves me. The love have to stream like river, so that it can be always fresh. But, my river was blocked by my sinful rocks. So, it couldn't stream and stay in one spot. It was the crisis to be polluted. I need to break the rocks. This summit made me realized my present appearance. It was like a warning!!!

Now, I'm in the middle of the journey. I don't expect that I can break all my rocks in one time. But, I know that I need to be willing to do it. I need to think what God wants, what His plan is. With the rocks, I will never understand and know what I suppose to know. Due to knowing my problems, now it is the time to jump up the barriers.

Thank you, Lord. I know that I will walk with you. Make me a godly person, Jesus-liked person, the first born like Jesus...

Now, it is the time to re-start and be refresh. :D

Understanding His Grace.

2009-10-01T00:59:00.004-05:00

Last week, I had the first bible study. This term, my group is studying Colossians. I've read this book long long time ago, but I haven't really thought the meanings word by word. It was a great discovery journey, and I'm really looking forward to next bible study.

Colossians is one of Paul's letter to send to Christians in Colosse. First, the outstanding word was "God's grace" at 1:6.

that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's Grace in all its truth. (Col. 1:6)

It was the first time I've thought about "What the grace is". Sometimes, we just use the word without thinking or without recognizing the deep meaning. I think for me, 'grace' was the one of the word I just use it but haven't really thought about what the word has. Grace...according to my group discussion, 'grace' is like a gift, which we don't deserve. Then, I should thank about "Grace". Because it's a thing I've got but I wasn't supposed to get. The most delightful grace is 'the qualification as a His child to share in the inheritance of God'.

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. (Col. 1:11~12)

And, I think this is related to the book of John 1: 12 yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

For me, the inheritance is from Father to Son. If I want to be qualified to share the inheritance, first of all, I should link with the owner of the inheritance. And, the inheritance is not a type of things we can give away random people. Also, it has a point that the person who would get the inheritance should be chosen by the owner. Some people might say that "I choose to become a Christian." or "I choose my own religion." But, as a Christian, who has been qualified of God's inheritance, I have been chosen by God. No matter what, it was all His great plans and also, "Grace".

Another point, I have to think about, was 'understanding'. What would be 'Understanding'? I remember one of sermon my pastor in Korea gave me what 'know' means. Here, If I say "I know someone", it might think the way like "I know Michael Jackson, I know Britney Spears and I know Angelina Jolly". People often say that they know the popular people like celebrities, politicians and so on. But, do they really know those popular people in person?? Of course not. Well, some people might really know those people. But, the meaning "Knowing God" should be involved "relationship". We often say "the relationship between God and me". In my thought, that's really knowing God. In the same line, what would be "understanding"? As a student, "understanding" the lecture is very important. For example, what if I just understood the lecture in class but I can't write what the lecture was about, could it say that I really understood? I think "understanding God's grace" is a similar concept. Even though I "think" I understand His Grace, but what if I don't know how to apply the Grace? Can I say that I understand it? Likewise the book of Jame, said that "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is deed (James 2:17)", "Understanding" also comes with "application what I understand".

Last couple years, I realized that I got used to "receive His Grace". In some point, I forgot how graceful it was and forgot to thank. It just became it meant to be. In this situation, for sure, it's really hard to say that I fully understand His Grace. I guess it is time to re-think, re-thank, and re-understand for me.

A Cook, "Rachel"?! No Kidding!!

2009-09-27T23:26:00.000-05:00

I remember, like few years ago, I went to a baking class three times. And then, I've never thought I would bake again. Unfortunately, I'm not really keen on cooking. Sometimes, I'm telling people that I hate to cook. But, trying new stuff is always stimulating me. This time, Becky(one of my housemate)'s bread machine temped me to use that machine. As a result, I've got a loaf of nice homemade french bread. Bread, Rice...both are not favorite, but because this is what I made, the taste is good. Especially, I like the texture of the bread, something chewy, and it has both soft and crunch parts. After finishing this, I'm going to try another one. The only thing is that I don't eat the bread that often. So...well...I don't know when I'm going to try another one.

Ok. Now, I tried "Rach's gourmet rice+flour+chocolate chips cookies". Because of miscalculation of the preheat degree, some of them were burn. T.T Generally, well..according to my housemates, those were pretty good. (Thank you, guys) I will make them better next time. Here, I kind of checked my own personality which is never followed "exact" recipe. Even this time, first of all, I mixed rice flour and all-purpose flour. I was supposed to only use rice flour. Second, my oven preheated in 375F, which was supposed to use 180C preheat. Well...the result, it was o.k. :D
Next time, I'm thinking to try Oatmeal cookies..um...A cheese cake?! maybe...

Laziness

2009-09-25T12:43:00.001-05:00

Recently, my greatest enemy is "Laziness". My thought and my mind are always busy, but my body is not. I think it started when I was sick in Vancouver. Because of sickness-it was one of my excuse, I spent most of time at home. At that time, I needed that rest. My life was like a chaos at work, at home and even in my head. Then, some point it exploded and came out some bad reactions, such as increasing heart bits, gaining weight, and decreasing sleep time. The oriental Dr. diagnosed as an over reaction for the stress, and asked me to take enough rest and avoid any stressful situation. What he explained was that my nerves over tensed while I was working and my body couldn't handle the stress. In that case, I should've found the way I could release my stress, like exercising, chatting with friends, or leisure activities. When I think back that moment, everything what I've done was finding an excuse which didn't make sense at all. Eventually, my health got back my own track. I think it helped me when I went back to Korea. My mom's treatment helped me a lot to find my health.

Now, it's my turn to take care of myself. The fist thing I should do is fighting with "Laziness". Keeping moving my body, following the schedule, organizing one by one, trying to finish which I've decided to do on time, keeping the promise which I promised myself to do. Life is really short. Every year, I get on in years, I feel like life goes even faster and faster. But, I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things I want to do. One day, my friend told me,"Rachel, don't give up. Believe God and yourself. I'm pretty sure that you can do what you are going to do, and God looks after you, as you know. So, please do not give up". God gave us a free will and He neither let me go, or let me fall. If He does, then, I should know there is something He wants me to learn. But, at the same time, I should do my job. Think about it. When I'm just sitting on the couch and doing nothing, would God be happy with that?

No more excuses.....It is the first step to manage myself. No more laziness. No more chaos. I think it is important what I am doing and I should do. So far, I've wasted a lot of time. Well..I shouldn't say that because I've learn through those moments. But, now I need to spend time more constructive ways. Think of the main purpose. Not just for my research, for whole my life. Think the reason of "Being"..

A hedonist...

2009-09-22T23:57:00.000-05:00

In the book, Desiring God by John Piper, there is the expression called "Hedonist". Collins dictionary says that A hedonist is someone who believes that having pleasure is the most important thing in life. John Piper tells us about Christian Hedonism.

Today, when I talked with my roommie, I was thinking the expression "Christian Hedonism". In my whole life so far, it just happened to me. Fortunately(?), I just became a christian without any questioning. From my mom side, I'm the third generation christian from my grand mother and the second generation of my dad side. So what...It's just blessing, but it doesn't mean anything. Somehow, I probably have something to show off to others that I'm the blessed person. Oh!! that's exactly same to the ancient Jewish people in the bible who liked to think that they were better than any other nations because they were the chosen one by God. I discovered that from my inside. It is shame.

From the conversation, I re-think about being a christian. And, that reminds my mom. I have seen a lot of cases which my mom hurt from other people. Some of them are from her church. Whenever it happened, I convinced her shift the church. Actually, that's what I did. Well...there were many factors why I left the church where I used attend in my teen age. I am sure that was God's plan for me. Because it was a big step I grew up in Him. Now, when I think back, for my mom, she did her job as a christian. Of course it hurt and never easy. But, she was calm and knew that how to act and how to love people who against her. She knew how to share.

Unfortunately, even though my head got bigger, my heart is still same. That's what I figured out, recently. I know by head but, not by heart. I really thanked there were a lot of people who cared for me. I didn't care as much as they cared of me. I guess I just enjoyed being baby, like turning back to baby?! I might not grow enough as I pretended.

This fall...This year....
I'm expecting something. To grow......
But, I should really want, desire....Think...Do I??

Do you have "Frim-Fram sauce"?

2009-09-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite Music Genre is Jazz. Usually, I'm keen on Jazz piano music without vocals and the one I can understand, not like just arranging meaningless notes or scales. But, there are some songs I really like, probably I would practice to sing.

The first fun song I want to talk is "Frim-Fram Sauce" by Joe Ricardel(music) and Redd Evans(lyrics). Personally, I love Nat King Cole's original version. :D Is there someone knows what "Chafafa" is?

Here goes the lyrics

I don't want French fried potatoes,
Red ripe tomatoes,
I'm never satisfied.
I want the frim-fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafah on the side.

I don't want pork chops and bacon,
That won't awaken
My appetite inside.
I want the frim-fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafah on the side.

Now a fella's really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
I'm gonna feed myself right tonight.

I don't want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim-fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafah on the side.

And, another song I like is "Why don't you do right" by by Kansas Joe McCoy. When I was in Vancouver, I listened this song at the first time and I had two other chance to listen this song by accident. When I met this song as the third time, I was just laughing. Then, it became one of my favorite song. But, I hope I don't need to sing this song to "my man" in the future. ;)

"Why don't you do right"

You had plenty money, 1922
You let other women make a fool of you
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

You're sittin' there and wonderin' what it's all about
You ain't got no money, they will put you out
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

If you had prepared twenty years ago
You wouldn't be a-wanderin' from door to door
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

I fell for your jivin' and I took you in
Now all you got to offer me's a drink of gin
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Like some other men do

If you like those songs, then, I would say you have kind of similar music taste with me...

The first impression.

2009-09-18T23:06:00.000-05:00

I think that was on Sep. 3rd.
To a new comer, a beautiful sunset was something. I remember the sunset in Vancouver, especially, the one I could see through my window, was totally something with purple, pink and red color. The sunset, Manitoba showed me as the first impression, had another beauty with the reflection on the lake. I joined the camp for all international students, including exchange students. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling well that day, so I missed many fun activities, like canoeing, kayaking, and rock climbing which I've never done. Well...but I got the pictures. :)

Some of views remind me the movie, "Lake house". Actualy, the movie scene is much pretty, though. It have its own prettiness, too. Here, Manitoba has really strong sunshine. Grandma told me that Vancouver started rain, but Winnipeg is still hot. According to my roommie, the temperature would be going down sometime soon. For waiting my new winter, I have two minds. Because I've never had "crazy" cold winter, it'll be interesting experience once in life, or twice, or...ever more?! Hope I can survive. People say that I will be fine. But, I don't think they know me. I just keep crossing the fingers that I can have great great winter in Winterpeg. :)

Winnie the Pooh, or Winnie the "Rachel"?!

2009-09-17T11:57:00.000-05:00

It's been almost three weeks now since I came to Winnipeg. As other people feel, my first impression was "wide, flat and less dynamic". Whenever I go somewhere in Winnipeg, whenever I hear something about Winnipeg, I kind of keep comparing between Vancouver and Winnipeg. I guess that's because I really got used to staying in Vancouver last couple years and while I was there, I probably forgot what I felt being in Seoul,technically my home town where I spent half time of my whole life, so far.

When I was a child, my childhood was chopped by moving every 3 years. As a child, it wasn't easy. I didn't bond any of places, because I knew that I was going to move some point anyways. I just didn't like to say good-bye to people. That felt like I couldn't see them ever again. And some parts, that was true. "Friends" I met before my junior high, most of them, I've never seen them again. After that, a chunk of period,high school, university and grad school, I have lived in Seoul. It was enough time to build my relationship with people and friends. Well, I think it might be because we are grown up, mature enough to keep in touch.

After I came to Vancouver, my life is no longer moving around by my parents. If it is chopped again like before, now, that's because of myself, my choice, not because of someone else. I thought I probably stayed in Vancouver for a long time. But, something my inside keeps pushing me to go new environment, even though that's not I really wanted..Kind of Weird feeling. It's like I meant to be moving around place to place. Would it be His plan? I don't know..

Anyways, now, I am in Winnipeg, so-called Winterpeg. The person who becomes the weakest in winter is here, one of the coldest city, the city of Pooh. It's flat. It's wide. So far, I haven't found any interesting things I can catch through my camera angle. But, I am excited to discover something special of this city. Yes. Here is very different from Vancouver. Vancouver is like almost people like to stay, but Winnipeg, I think there is "something" to make people like. I realized people who live here actually, like staying in Winnipeg even though they admit here is pretty tough place than other cities. That makes me more interesting to see this place.

How long would I stay?? I don't know. It can be only for school years or can be more. 2years, or 3 years. It looks long but I realized that's pretty short time. I'm looking forward to seeing where my life goes.....

If someone is really annoying...

2008-11-25T12:28:00.000-06:00

I'm getting worse and worse.
There is someone who is really really annoying. First I met her, the first empression wasn't that good. That's not because she is a smoker, not because she has bad personality. I just didn't like her attitude to treat me.

Second time, when I met her, she became my junior. I had to train her. First time, she looked like good trainee, but as time goes by she is kind of against me a lot. Well, that's fine. Whatever, if she made a mistake, that's her fault. She didn't listen to me. I don't know why, but her action and her perform..all is kind of annoying me a lot.

Yesterday was worse. In the meeting, she told that I was wrong and I interupted her job. When the customer asked me to pay later, what should I say? Should I say that they have to pay right now? I don't know, but her point of view was like I keep the customer not pay. Am I stupid? What's wrong with her? I really don't understand. Whatever her saying, now that makes me really frustrated. I didn't know that I'm that kind of sensetive person.

Now, I know how difficult to love the enemy. Yes, the enemy is not far away from me, it existes just beside of me. I think I really need to have time to spend God and myself. Whoever against me, whatever the circumstance makes me hard, I should learn how to handle the situation, at the same time, how I can release from the those bad stress.

Need to pray...

My Rule and His Rule...

2008-09-24T23:52:00.000-05:00

There is NO WISDOM
NO INSIGHT
NO PLAN that can succeed against the LORD.

Proverbs 21:30

In the morning, checking my email, one of my friend sent this word. At recent, I'm really struggling with rules which were supposed to keep, but the ruler is breaking the rules. Should I be a Socrathes who was killed by wrong rules? It's really complicated. Only I can do is leanning on HIM..
It would be the wisest choice...

If I don't want to know about somebody, would it mean that I'm selfish??

2008-09-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

Some people send e-mail to their friends, family and whoever they know.
It might be kind of good thing for them to report their life. But, honestly, I don't know. Till now, I didn't have any friends who report their life by mass e-mail. I don't know how it means that we are close friend. In my way of thinking, they don't need to. If they want to communicate with them, I preper to communicate by indivisually, not like mass. I don't judge whatever they do. The thing is what if I don't need to know about it, what if I don't want to get the "Mass" mail like reporting, could it mean that I'm selfish?

Just because I don't know how they get my thought, I can't say not to send it to me. The relationship between people is not like mathmetics. For me, that's more like interaction through heart. I don't say that reporting is bad. My point is reporting their life without any interaction of recievers, that's no point. For me, it's like junk mail.

That's different to share something with many people for some purpose like sharing fun story, special news of community, or noticing something.

I don't know....I might be really selfish. I might just care of my people or I just don't want to be one among the bunch of people in the mass mail list. Whatever reason can be, I don't know how to stop them with being nice. I don't really want they get me wrong. I don't want to get those kind of email, neither...
Need some good idea about handling situations which I don't want to be in...withought hurting other people's emotion...
Never easy..

Never have kissed..

2008-08-24T23:19:00.000-05:00

Today is very interesting day. really..
During the church service, I had been thinking a lot of thing about my future and His plan. Today, one family visited my church. They are doing some missionary work in Liberia where must be one country in Africa, I guess. They are helping out children, women and the community. Also, they are spreading the God's word. When I saw their work, it was really beautiful. Especailly, Whole family memebers really love each other and help each other. Even though the environment to live there doesn't look like only fun, they are enjoying to help them to doing God's work. I don't know what God's special plan for me is, but some part in my life, I want to have thouse work during my life time. It can be by myself, but if I can meet someone who can do with me, that would be the best. Anyways, the point is that I want to do something but I don't know how. I think I'm in kind of wondering right now between good life in my point and better life in God's point. I wonder the other christian's opinion, not a pastor. Just normal christian's thought. I can't generalize all thought of them. But at least, I want to know how they want to keep the balance of like between God's will and Humna's will. I'm sures that I'm really blessed by Him. Then, what can I do for him and what should I do for him? What is the "Right"? What is the "Good"? Maybe I should've read the bible more.

The other things..
Now I'm wathing the T.V. I saw the movie called "Never have kissed". In Korean, 25살의 첫 키스.. The main character reminds myself. I want to be kind of "Popular" Girl. But, I didn't mean to be. Because I was in Korea, I might be able to handle the situation and I could have kind of fun high school life. I wasn't that pretty and even I was't smart. I was slightly upper average. Throught the movie, I felt that I really have be honest to myself about my emotion, my feeling and my thought. It shouln't be for any others. Till now, I cared other's thinking and I kept trying to make touch other's emotion, even though I didn't agreed for myself. True story from real mind...That's the important part, more than any other. Plus, the main actor, I think his name was "David Arquett" maybe...So handsome. I wish I could feel true mind from someone. Then, he could be the one I was looking for. And he could have same dream with me. BUT....Do I really think it could happend to me? Even I don't know. Maybe I should believe.....

Aug. 24th, 2008

On 28th June in Canada.

2007-06-27T00:15:00.000-05:00

This is the first birthday in Canada.
I hope that I have a good time with my friend.
Nadine and I will meet in downtown. And we will have a dinner.
I invited Osama, too. Hahaha...
It will be fun. :)

Jazz Festival..

2007-06-24T02:37:00.000-05:00

In Vancouver..
Jazz Festival..

I want to go and see....
But..I registred Toefl Test...
On 21th July...I am going to do the exam..
I hope that I get good score...

Busy....
I don't know why....
I have a lot of work which I want to...
Can I do all???

First of all...pray....

home sick?!

2007-06-17T22:01:00.000-05:00

I don't know...
Is it home sick??
This month is the third month I've stay in Vancouver.
I think that I need something new..
How can I find it?
Actually, I have to study more...but...from Monday..haha..
How can I enjoy the time, more?

Lake House Hiking...In May..

2007-06-10T15:24:00.001-05:00

What a beautiful weather and beautiful people!!!!! with School mates..

Mother's graduation in Toronto

2007-06-10T01:53:00.001-05:00

Mother's day

2007-05-14T02:21:00.000-05:00

Mother's day..

Today is Mother's day in Canada.In Korea, we have parents day, 8th May. Actually, I forgot to call my parents on Korean parents day, so today I called my mom. Before I called my mom, I missed her. When I had a service at church, we had a special service for mothers of my church members. At that time, I cried because I missed my parents. It is the first time to leave my home for a long time and I have no plan to go back home at least 3 more years. That's why I've missed my parents more than before.

When I stayed beside my family, I didn't know that family is so important in my life, but now I realized that my family is a part of my life. I knew that before by head, now I know that by heart.

My New Space..

2007-05-13T10:09:00.000-05:00

My New Space...
For...Family and Friends....:)